


Alone

by Raven_is_blue



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Adventure, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 06:25:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15790824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven_is_blue/pseuds/Raven_is_blue
Summary: She was alone. She was dying. And, once in her life, she reached for something just for her.





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> This story is part of The Reylo Writing Den: Crylo Boot Camp (my House event) and the server-wide August/September prompt challenge. My lovely J-dryless (all hail to the Headmistress) asked for: "I'd like to prompt a sweet fluffy Ben or Rey is sick or injured and the other one takes care of them because I need that in my life right now joy" and I failed! 
> 
> I'm so sorry ;(
> 
> Beautiful cover made by [darthcarol](https://archiveofourown.org/users/darthcarol)

  


  


  


Rey was dying. She was in pain. And alone.

But that wasn’t anything new. She was alone her whole life and she had no illusions that she would not be alone in death.

And yet… And yet she wondered. And yet she craved. And yet she hoped. How would it be? To have somebody? To not be on her own? Would it be nice… stupid thoughts. She cut that train of thought.

  
***  


It started after the evacuation of D’Qar.

The massacre of the Rebel Fleet, Holdo’s sacrifice, Luke’s death. Those who survived were rebuilding the cause, reigniting hope, reminding people that Rebellion is limitless. Everybody Rey knew was busy. And that was only a handful of people.

Finn, even if as new in Rebel ranks as she was, used to be part of something big before. He found his place with Poe and Rose easily, flawlessly becoming a vital part of the whole.

Leia, still grieving after Han, now said her goodbyes to her brother and tried so hard not to hate her son. And she found her strength in her people, in the cause, working relentlessly.

Rey? She wasn’t needed.  
Being raised by the sand and derelict starships, always alone and self-reliant didn't help with fitting in.

Yes, she knew that Leia loved her, maybe only as Luke’s student, maybe more. She knew that Poe respected her. That Finn thought fondly about her, maybe even seeing a sister in her.

But, at the end of the day, she was alone again. She couldn’t find her place, she didn’t fit, she had no idea who she should be, what she possibly could do to be one of them.

  


So, she left. Not to abandon them, but to be useful in the only way she knew.

She decided to put her scavenging skills in the good use and find more Jedi temples, recover the forgotten knowledge.

And that’s what landed her here.

  


It was supposed to be easy. In and out. She had practice with going to abandoned places, blind searches and strange findings. But she forgot that she knew almost next to nothing when it came to the Force, which still was more of a foreign magic to her.

  


Rey landed on Devaron without any troubles. She even found hidden tunnels and corridors. She had no problems with finding a second library and the temple within the temple.

She tried to decide what would be the most useful for Rebels, for rebuilding the Republic and restoring the Jedi Order. She was lost in thoughts and plans how to transport her findings to the ship so profoundly that she noticed sudden stillness in the air a second too late.

Something, someone, an entity of sorts, poked at the little spark in her that she thought was the Force. Demanding answers, but Rey didn’t understand the questions. Like they were asked in a lost language, in a hushed whisper. Rey tried to focus on that presence, understand what it wanted. But the Force wasn’t strong enough in her or Rey wasn’t trained enough, and the entity grew impatient with her. It pushed her strongly enough to knock books out of her hands. Rey faltered and tried to find the source of that foreign Force.

How did she miss it? Over a stone stand levitated a green Kyber crystal. Glowing with emerald light, pulsating slowly in the tattoo of beating heart. Rey touched the crystal with her trembling fingers and then everything went to hell. Activated in an intricate pattern the force shields raged in the room. One of them appeared behind her, close enough to throw Rey into the bookshelves. Something hit her in the back and  she crashed with a stone floor. Pain laced every her breath and she knew that at least one rib was broken, maybe even punctured the lung. The stone stand which started the whole armageddon laid on her left leg and, judging by a peculiar angle, the leg itself was broken.

Initial Force outburst almost exhausted her limited resources and she had no idea when or if she would rebuild them. Even if, she needed to get out of the library.

It was a mess. And she didn’t even try to pretend that she could reach her ship. Not with a broken leg, punctured lung, unstable Force. She would try. She would crawl and she would die trying. But she would die.

  


There was no point in fighting that.

  


There was one thing she could do, more for herself than anything. She could die with the simulacrum of human warmth, with the stolen shreds of love and care.  

  


She reached the only person she knew would hear her. She didn’t care about surviving now. She just didn’t want to die alone.

No hope for that. No grasping at straws. He, certainly, would be happy that she died, that she was gone, that there were no more Jedi, no more… She coughed. Bright red blood splattered on the stone. She had less time than she thought.

So… just this once. Just once she let herself pretend that she mattered. That she was not alone.

  


“Rey.” Kylo’s voice was cautious. Sharp eyes swept over disaster around her. “I like what you did with the place.”

  


“I’m dying.” She whispered. “Just…” A cough. “I don’t want to be alone. Please, Ben.” No pride left in her. No dignity. Death stripped her to the barest need.

  


“Where are you?” He asked and she wanted to laugh. Why did it matter? She was dying and it was here. Silly boy. “Rey! Focus! Where are you?” He was shouting. He was so loud. Why was he shouting? Did she do something wrong? She… shouldn’t have reached him. She deserved to be alone. To die alone.

  


“m’rry… nt’gry… please...” She whispered, trying to gather Force back to her, to cut this, to stop her bothering him.

  


“Fuck!” He was so angry. She whimpered and tried to hide. “Rey, no, no, no, please, where are you.” He sounded wrong. He shouldn’t sound wrong. One last push and the Force connection dispersed into nothing.

No point. She knew. Alone. She didn’t even try to cry.

  


***

  


Soft.  Softest. Softness. Rey would giggle if she wouldn’t be so occupied with overwhelming softness.

She was lying on the softest mattress in the universe. Soft and warm blanket hugged her tightly. Even the light was soft. Soft fingers touched lightly her cheek and a soft voice whispered, “Sleep”. She smiled and fell asleep.

  


When she woke up again, softness was there, but with firmness under it. Not only clouds, and feathers, and furs, but also satin and velvet. She felt silly for thinking such thoughts. And yet it was better than the marshmallowy softness from before.

  


“You woke up.” Kylo’s voice was...soft? Rey had no idea how to name that particular tone. “I was worried. You had broken ribs and punctured lung, broken leg, and a nasty bump on your head. I wasn’t sure if you’d wake up.” Long fingers touched her hand. Feathery light. Barely there.

  


Rey glanced on her leg, tightly wrapped in white bandages. She touched her ribs and her fingers danced over layers of cloth. Nothing was hurting anymore. Or, rather, nothing was hurting too much.

  


“How...” She had no idea what she wanted to ask about.

  


“When you lost consciousness, I felt your Force dispersing. Like with… him.” Kylo looked at her with an unreadable expression. “I didn’t want it, so I found you.” She heard everything he omitted. Pain, blackmail, rage. For her?

  


“You didn’t kill Snoke for me.”

  


“No.”

  


“But you found me, even if… you don’t need me.” There were so many questions in that.

  


“Later.” He decided. “You were unconscious for a few days. You must be starving.”

  


“You still are holding my hand.” She pointed on their connected hands. When did that happen? Kylo blushed, released her hand and left hurriedly. Rey smiled.

  
  



End file.
